Why Veterans Matter, and What We Can Do About It
The What
Today is Veterans Day. For many of us it means a day off work, a bank holiday, or maybe just a sale on mattresses or refrigerator. It’s easy to let it pass by as just another date on the calendar.
It wasn’t always that way, though. Veterans Day began as Armistice Day, marking the end of fighting in World War I at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918. In 1954 it was renamed Veterans Day to honor all who have served across many different battles, wars, and conflicts. While Memorial Day honors and remembers those who died while serving, Veterans Day is intended for the living, the people who served, came home, and are still among us.
I want to take a few minutes to talk about those people.
Why They Matter
Every one of us benefits from something we didn’t have to personally sign up for. A small group of people raised their right hands and agreed to put their own lives, plans, and comfort on hold for something bigger than themselves. They agreed to go where they were told, when they were told, and do what they were told – often for a long time and often far from the people they love.
Think about what that means. They gave up holidays, birthdays, and the first steps of their kids. They missed funerals and weddings. They missed births and graduations. They may have even missed the passing of loved ones while they were serving. They did it knowing it could cost them far more than that. Some came home changed in ways you can see, and many in ways you can’t.
The decisions that led to the types of service were made by governments, and you don’t have to agree with every one of them. The decisions were made by politicians while the service was given by people. Those are two different things, and it’s worth keeping them separate.
Where They Fit in Your Life
Here’s the part that’s easy to miss: veterans aren’t a faraway group. They’re woven into everyday life.
They’re the coworker who stays calm when everything is on fire. They’re the neighbor who keeps an immaculate yard, and the quiet guy at the end of the bar. They’re the teacher, the nurse, the mechanic, the person running the project you’re working on. Many of them never mention it. A lot of veterans don’t bring up their service unless you ask, and some would rather not talk about it at all.
I have a number of family members, friends, and co-workers that have served and it’s easy to see the various skills they developed during their time in the military. Many of the people hold leadership titles (manager, director, etc.) but they almost all SHOW leadership in how they conduct themselves. They take on tasks, they own the process, and they see it through to the end to be sure it’s completed correctly. And if something doesn’t go as planned, they take the responsibility of getting it corrected.
This all to say that if you’ve been paying attention, you probably know many more veterans than you realize. And for every veteran, there’s a family that served right alongside them: spouses and partners who held a household together alone, kids who grew up with an empty chair at the table, parents who waited by the phone. They deserve some thanks too.
The Part We Don’t Talk About Enough
Coming home isn’t always easy. Going from a life of structure, mission, and tight-knit teams back to civilian life can be a hard transition. Some veterans struggle with finding work, with health issues, or with finding a new sense of purpose. Some struggle with their mental health. If you or someone you know is a veteran in that place, the Veterans Crisis Line is available any time by a variety of methods. Check out their web site here. And remember the most important part – asking for help takes strength and shows strength… Not weakness. If you know someone that needs help, you may need to help them to take that first step to ask for it.
Ways to Say Thanks
There are a lot of different ways to thank someone for their service. A simple “thank you for your service” is a good start. But if you want it to have a bit more meaning, here are some ideas that go beyond the words:
- Ask them about their service, and then listen to what they have to say. Skip the “did you ever kill anyone” kind of questions. Try “where did you serve?” or “what did you do?” Then let them decide how much to share. Sometimes being heard is the biggest thank-you there is.
- If you are an employer or otherwise in the position to offer employment, hire veterans. If you’re in a position to hire, or maybe have the opportunity to refer someone, remember that veterans bring discipline, adaptability, and leadership. Pass along job openings, make introductions, or serve as a reference.
- Shop at veteran-owned businesses. There are plenty of them are in your area, and your money stays in the community because they are local, small businesses.
- Volunteer your time. Groups like the VFW, the American Legion, and local veteran service organizations always need hands. One thing I did a number of times while I was in high school was to play taps at local graveside services for veterans. Sure, I did it because it was an opportunity to both give something to the community and to earn a few dollars, but the genuine appreciation that every single service member that was in attendance would show or even convey to me directly was worth more than I could ever put into words.
- Give wisely. If you donate, take a few minutes to check how a charity uses its money. Some veteran charities are excellent and some are not. Charity Navigator is a good place to start.
- Help an older veteran in your neighborhood. Shovel a driveway, run an errand, bring a meal, or just stop by to visit. A lot of older veterans are more isolated than we realize and you might just make their day or their week by stopping by just to say hello and ask how their day is going.
- Support military families. Offer to babysit, cook a meal, or simply check in with a family that has someone deployed.
- Learn the history, and teach it. Take your kids to a memorial, visit a museum, or read a veteran’s story. A generation that doesn’t know what was done on its behalf can’t appreciate it.
- Be there after today. Veterans Day itself is easy. The real test is November 12th and every day after, when the flags are put away and the conversations trail off or stop. Keep those conversations active in whatever small ways you can.
One of the things that I have done over the years is to buy dinner or pay at least a portion of the check for a veteran based on a very simple personal rule – Any service member that is out for dinner or drinks and is wearing their uniform will catch my attention. From there, I will catch the attention of their server and anonymously contribute to their bill. They have no idea who I am, yet they do what they do for me. I follow the same approach in doing something for them. And I’ve witnessed how they react to being appreciated like that – it means something to them to know that they were noticed and appreciated.
Final Thoughts
I’m not asking anyone to actively do anything or to do anything in a particular way – I’m just asking for folks to notice. Today, or any day, when you see someone in a veteran’s cap, a service jacket, or a plate frame from a unit, take a moment to say something or even just wave to them. It doesn’t need to be a speech. It just needs to be honest.
To everyone who has served, and to the families who stood beside you: Thank You. We see you, and we’re grateful.
Do you have a favorite way to recognize someone as a veteran or something specific that you like to do for them? Share your stories in the comments!